Friday, July 29, 2011

Mommy Insecurities...

I know that I am not the only one who has struggled with these feelings. I have taken care of babies my entire life. When my little brother was born, I was 8 years old. My mom used to call me and my older sister, Josh's "little mothers". It is still weird, mind you, when I look at him now almost 19, and think I used to change his diapers. Weird. I feel old.

Anywho, taking care of kids, changing diapers...nothing new to me. But, when you have your own? All of these simple tasks feel so daunting at first. Did I put his diaper too tight? Is the baby too hot? Too cold? Did he get enough to eat? Does he have gas? Is he hungry again? Why is he crying?

Oh, to remember that first week. Pure Joy. Annnnddd. Pure stress. Now? I am glad to say that I think, I got this mommy thing down. Hardy Har! ;) It is definitely a learning experience. I love that for the most part, just by looking at my little man, I can tell what he needs. Not all of the time. But most. I can tell when he is tired and needs some mama time. (I secretly love that sometimes he just wants his mama!) I can tell which cry means what. Irritated cry? Bored cry? Tired cry? Plain just ticked off cry? Yeah, when you are with them all just know.

These days, I am still learning about my boy daily. But, I think of the future. The kids of this generation seem like they are dealing with a lot more trivial of things than we did as kids. No? I stress to think of the things he will face as a young person. All of these things which I cannot control, get me thinking.

With all of these fleeting thoughts. I have to remember that the Lord chose me and JC to be Westin's parents. I am the best mom for Westin. JC is the best dad for Westin. He thinks we are capable. With His guidance on everything, He thinks we got this! I am so thankful that I don't have to try and figure things out on my own, you know? Now, I am sure challenging times will come. Scratch that. I know they will come. But, it is good to know the Lord is on our side. He brought Westin in this world for His purpose. It is JC's and my responsibility to help lead, guide and prayerfully parent Him back into the arms of the Lord. When I was pregnant with Westin. I felt the Lord show me some of the ways He might use him. I can't wait to see the man of God He will become. I look forward to the moment when He asks for Jesus to become a part of his heart. That will be the BEST day!

In the mean time. Even with all of the newness of being a mom. Trying to figure it out and still becoming confident in the mom that I am. I must remember. God felt that I am the best mom for Westin. In that, I am honored. In that, I am confident. :)

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