It has been that long. Six years ago, life was pretty good! I had met this wonderful man who had been orchestrated into my life at the most perfect time. We were in love and inseperable. With years of my family life not being entirely interesting. My life suddenly had gotten so different.
I don't like to think of this time in particular. Mainly because it's hard. Six years ago my dad entered heaven. With all of my heart, I believe Jesus excepted him with open arms that day. No one likes to remember, for good reason, the time of life when you lost someone so precious to you.
Certain songs bring me back there. Particular places spark a thought and suddenly there you are in the midst of that awful moment again. A moment that you were so unprepared for. A moment that changed everything.
It was hard. Life was confusing. Life was getting really good and suddenly everything that I knew became so blurry. My focus was shot. Even those of us who are strong, break and become weak.
The Lord was there though. Through the entire process. I can remember feeling a peace that I couldn't understand why I had during such a heart breaking time. Why? Why am I not crying and losing it as much as everyone else? Not that I didn't. I can remember driving my dads truck the night of his passing back to our house. Screaming. Litterally. At the top of my lungs. Tears. Me violently shaking while, driving. Definitely probably shouldn't have been driving, now that I think of it. But, my world had been shaken to the core. I had never before experienced anything like this. Ever.
But, somehow in the midst of it all I could see the Lords face. I felt His presence ever so near to me. I cried out and He was faithful. Was it hard? Yes. Life became different. You see and feel things differently when things like this happen.
I can look back now and see the blessings that came from it. I can see how the Lord was with me. He gave me my husband. Poor guy had NO idea what to say or do. But, all that he did was perfect. I can't imagine what or how I would have handled it, would roles have been reversed. He held me as I cried into his arms not sure how to respond. He cried with me. He was a big source of Joy in my life at that time. That was Gods blessing to me. He knew that I would need his freindship and love.
The Lord comforts us during hard times. He is always faithful. Always. Even with six years being passed. I still miss my dad. I miss hearing his voice. I hope that I never forget what it sounds like. I miss the way he would walk by and reach out his hand, just so I would grab it. I miss his goofy laugh. I miss his tender heart and the way that he would cry when he was proud of me. I miss that he wasn't able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. Now, I miss that Westin never got the chance to know his little Frenchmen of a Grandpa. My dad was a good Grandpa. I miss him. That will never change. Each year as this time comes I am reminded of a dad who loved his kids with all that he had. A man who was genuinely kind and funny. A man who really was a good father. I am also reminded that God never leaves us or forsakes us when we need Him the most. He is always there waiting to embrace us.
Love you and miss you dad!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Westin you are four months old! This past month has gone by so quickly, my son.
Some of your stats:
Weight: 14 lbs and 4 oz 49%
Height: 26.5 Inches! (you grew 3 inches in 2 months!) 90%
Head: 15 7/8 inches 50%
Eating: This month we have (finally) gone up to 5-5 1/2 oz per feeding. Sometimes you will eat 6 ounces, but that is it. You are still soley on breastmilk except for one feeding. You are not the biggest eater, you never have been. Sometimes this makes me a nervous wreck because I want to make sure you eat all that you need to. The doctor says you are perfect though and gaining just as you should. You just don't have the biggest appetite. You typically don't even cry to tell us when you are hungry. You eat every 3-4 hours. Except at night of course. We can introduce rice cereal if we want to, but because you seem satisfied with the breastmilk, I am not in any hurry to.
Sleep: Oh, glorious little sleeper you are! We have finally really got into a good groove this past month, hallelujah! Bedtime is 8-8:30. You go to bed no later than 9. This month I am seriously considering seeing if I can push up your bedtime to 7:30. We shall see. You typically wake up between 6-7 am for your morning feeding. You are all smiles when we come to get you up! You are also a good little napper. You usually will talk yourself to sleep which is by far the cutest little thing to hear!
Play: We still do plenty of tummy time. I think you love this more than anything. You can roll from your back to your side, almost all of the way. But, when you are on your tummy-you always roll on to your back. When you first started doing this you would get mad! You didn't like it at all which was funny! You grab at EVERYTHING! When I am holding things, you want to see it! You love to look at your little teether books. You sit in your bumbo and also play in your excersaucer!
Personality: I can truly say that as a mom, this is my favorite thing to see! I love that your sweet personality is coming alive! You smile all of the time now! All I have to do is look at you and grin, and you will give me one right back! You are super tickleish. You giggle and grunt with a big smile when I tickle you. You get so excited when daddy or I come over to you. You kick, throw your arms around and get big happy eyes! You also jibber jabber con-stant-ly! If I am in the store, when you are tired, when you play, sometimes when I am trying to feed you, you will look up and just coo like you need to tell me something at that moment! I.love.it. : ) You have become so social lately. I hope it grows even more! I want you to love everyone! You still love you some bath time. You will kick and splash now. I can already see the future and in a couple of months I just know that we will be completely soaked after baths. ;)
You truly are the sweetest baby. You typically don't cry, unless you are irritated with something. When you are mad-you.are.mad You can get a little att-ti-tude at times. Not sure who you get that from! ;) You really are easy going baby though. I love being your mama. I love seeing you grow and learn. But, at the same time it makes me sad to think at how fast it truly goes by.
Hello there Mr.Turtle.