Time has come and gone since you left us four years ago. I miss you. I miss your goofy laugh and big smile. The way you would cry when you were proud of me. Things have changed, memories have been created. All these things you missed. Seeing me get married, new jobs. The day we put an offer on our first house. I had this weird moment where I thought "I need to call my dad!" I smiled and thought, he would be excited for us. There are still times when I think of you and forget that you're no longer here. It hurts. It is sad. No one truly understands until they loose someone close to them what this feels like. You would have been 52 years old this Friday. We would have had a cake for you and all of the family would have got together! You would have cried reading your cards, and we would have giggled because you always said a real man cries! You would have laughed that goofy laugh. I am afraid that one day I will forget what it sounds like. I always thought when you first left how lucky you were to be with Jesus first! To be with the Father, safe in His arms, full of happiness and surrounded by an eternal love! Look down on your Birthday and know you have a daughter who misses you and loves you, still.
Whew! Today has been a day! I substitute teach and today I had Kindergarten....Bless all Kindergarten teachers!!! The kids are adorable but exhausting! I came home and collapsed with my feet throbbing. That probably had something to do with my new flats that I wanted to wear, but have yet to brake in. Ok, so far not the most comfortable-but they're really cute! That counts right? Beauty is pain, ya know! I really didn't want to cook dinner tonight so I convinced my husband to go to Mission Burrito. If you have never heard of it, it's a lot like Chipotle's. Which I love both of them! So once I had that and my Diet Coke I was a happy girl again!
Maggie has grown so much since we got her! She already weighs 30 pounds! Oh Lord help me, she is only 6 months! Back a few months ago when I was trying to convince my husband to get a dog, I was looking for a Shih-Tzu. Yeah, I know your laughing! What did I end up with- a German Shepherd Grey eyed cutie! Compleeeetely different! She was just so sweet and pretty. Now I wouldn't change anything! Puppies are a lot of work but a lot of fun too! Here are some sweet pics of my Maggie Moo!
This was probably right after we got her
Here she is today! So sweet!
This is what I get when I tell her something she doesn't want to hear! Such Attitude!
That's right! It's back! I have, even Joey has been waiting all summer, and it has finally become that time again! I started watching The Biggest Loser back about five or six years ago. Back when I was wanting to "Lose Big." I had always struggled with my weight my whole life. I knew that I was ALWAYS unhappy with my body and self esteem when it came to my weight. I just never knew how to fix it, or where to start. I had tried the No Carb or as I call it the "Miserable put me in a bad mood and give me a piece of bread Diet!" I lost twenty pounds during those awful months, only to put that back and more once I rediscovered my love for floured goodness.
I was left back to square one. Not sure where to go next. I am a girl who relies on a strength that is higher than me. The only place that I knew, the only one that I knew would give me the strength and ability to help me conquer this area in my life was the Lord. I began asking God to Please, Pleeeaaase help me. You know what? He always helps. He did! For me! Little or well Chubby me! He gave me an understanding about food, and the ability to look to the future of what life would be like if I just put my feet down and said no to the Sugar!
That was what I had to do! Anything sweet was my weakness! (Still is!) My new life of food was full of Organics, God-made products! No processed stuff. Only all natural, whole grain, I also omitted anything white from my diet. I soon got the eating down, which was not easy I might add. At least not for me. I thoroughly enjoy food and I am not about to act like I am not! I then drove my happy self to Wally World and bought close to the cheapest treadmill I could get my hands on. Not the self propelled kind without a motor. I knew that if I got on it, I would have just stood there! I needed to be moved by a you better start walking or you go flying treadmill! I did this EVERYDAY, for at least thirty minutes. Not sure why but I committed myself to that. I wanted to see change. This in my mind was the quickest way. I started to see results! Big results! This was so unlike me! I had never, ever lost weight before. I forgot to mention that I started this diet, right about this time of year actually. It was nearing close to the holiday season, but I had reached my point of now! I didn't want to put my happiness on hold anymore.
By my 21st birthday in January I had lost probably between 20-30 pounds. Eventually after a lot of hard work right before my wedding day I had lost close to 60 pounds! I have kept it off for about four years now. Unfortunately I don't have a skinny gene, so it is a constant battle. I had and continue to have to change my mind set. I love eating healthy and finding healthy alternatives. In all honesty I still probably should lose another twenty. I tend to get down on myself and start to look at my body and criticize. Staying as focused as I once was doesn't come as easy as it did back then. I like to pull out my old pictures and remind myself of how far I have come. I have kept it off for four years! That was with a new marriage and all! If you knew my husband you would think that this is a miracle. He was your portrait of a horrible college boy eater when I met him. I'd like to think that him marrying me was the best thing for him. (Hehe) Now he likes to eat healthy and is so supportive! I must admit, we LOVE mexican food. In our first year of marriage I gained 10 pounds back. I've lost those thank goodness!
I wanted to share for those out there who are struggling just like me, like I always have. It isn't about going on a "Diet." It is about a life style change, a change in your mind. Relying on a strength that we don't create. Only God can give us. Don't believe me that God can't help you lose weight? Give Him the opportunity, and see what He is capable of! Many people out there can discipline themselves to eat right and excercise, and have awesome success stories. I needed the Lord's help because I couldn't do it on my own. We are all beautiful in God's eyes, but I wanted to make this body, this temple, a healthy one!
I am so excited that the Biggest Loser is back on for another season! Aren't you? Time to be motivated! I will try to ignore the corny advertising and be motivated! For me that is what this show is about! I also will try to get some before/after pics up. It's hard finding ones, when you tried to avoid the camera! Isn't that awful!