Monday, September 19, 2011

Year Six

It has been that long. Six years ago, life was pretty good! I had met this wonderful man who had been orchestrated into my life at the most perfect time. We were in love and inseperable. With years of my family life not being entirely interesting. My life suddenly had gotten so different.

I don't like to think of this time in particular. Mainly because it's hard. Six years ago my dad entered heaven. With all of my heart, I believe Jesus excepted him with open arms that day. No one likes to remember, for good reason, the time of life when you lost someone so precious to you.

Certain songs bring me back there. Particular places spark a thought and suddenly there you are in the midst of that awful moment again. A moment that you were so unprepared for. A moment that changed everything.

It was hard. Life was confusing. Life was getting really good and suddenly everything that I knew became so blurry. My focus was shot. Even those of us who are strong, break and become weak.

The Lord was there though. Through the entire process. I can remember feeling a peace that I couldn't understand why I had during such a heart breaking time. Why? Why am I not crying and losing it as much as everyone else? Not that I didn't. I can remember driving my dads truck the night of his passing back to our house. Screaming. Litterally. At the top of my lungs. Tears. Me violently shaking while, driving. Definitely probably shouldn't have been driving, now that I think of it. But, my world had been shaken to the core. I had never before experienced anything like this. Ever.

But, somehow in the midst of it all I could see the Lords face. I felt His presence ever so near to me. I cried out and He was faithful. Was it hard? Yes. Life became different. You see and feel things differently when things like this happen.

I can look back now and see the blessings that came from it. I can see how the Lord was with me. He gave me my husband. Poor guy had NO idea what to say or do. But, all that he did was perfect. I can't imagine what or how I would have handled it, would roles have been reversed. He held me as I cried into his arms not sure how to respond. He cried with me. He was a big source of Joy in my life at that time. That was Gods blessing to me. He knew that I would need his freindship and love.

The Lord comforts us during hard times. He is always faithful. Always. Even with six years being passed. I still miss my dad. I miss hearing his voice. I hope that I never forget what it sounds like. I miss the way he would walk by and reach out his hand, just so I would grab it. I miss his goofy laugh. I miss his tender heart and the way that he would cry when he was proud of me. I miss that he wasn't able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. Now, I miss that Westin never got the chance to know his little Frenchmen of a Grandpa. My dad was a good Grandpa. I miss him. That will never change. Each year as this time comes I am reminded of a dad who loved his kids with all that he had. A man who was genuinely kind and funny. A man who really was a good father. I am also reminded that God never leaves us or forsakes us when we need Him the most. He is always there waiting to embrace us.

Love you and miss you dad!


Danielle said...

I miss him too, LOTS... :')

Danielle said...

I miss him too, LOTS..:')