I was watching my adorable, squishy sweet nephew the other day for my sister when she took one of her daughters to the doctors. He is 5 months and seriously makes me not mind having a boy if we do. So sweet.
This wasn't the first time I have watched him for her. Or any baby for that matter. But, this time around, I had a BIG reality check. Or, I guess you could say, all of my insecurities about being a mom were raised to an all time high.
You see, I have always known that I wanted to be a mommy one day. The thought, has always excited me. I was never however, one of those girls who just- "wanted a baby." I am a girly girl, who yes, gets excited about decorating the baby's nursery, and can't wait to hold to my baby, and squeals with delight at teeny tiny outfits. But, I have always also known that a baby meant BIG things! Responsibilities. Selflessness. Guidance. Not just sweet smells and cute outfits. Those are all pluses by far, but there is so much more. More than I even know.
So, here I am with little Daven. He had just woken up from a nap, and was full of smiles. Amazed with Maggie, wondering what the heck she was. Maggie wanting SOO badly to see him up close, and give him her claustrophobic kisses. We played and giggled. He reached for my face and grabbed anything he could touch. Including my earrings! Ouch! (Note to self: NEVER wear big earrings with baby near! And always pull your hair completely back! ha!)
We played for what felt like a long time. Really, it had only been twenty minutes! Say, what? We were at my house, which has nothing for a young baby to really play with as of yet. No jumperoo, or bumbo chair, baby einstein..nothing. Needless to say, we were each others entertainment. I layed him on the floor with a few toys and he was thoroughly enjoying himself, while I was wrapping some Christmas gifts. I felt so proud of the multi-tasking that was taking place!
Then it hit me. I am not talking to him. He needs to be talked to. Like, now. Babies need to hear conversation. They need interaction! I could be messing up his developing motor skills!! Should I be doing some sort of baby exercises?! How do moms entertain their babies all day? How do you get them on schedules? As you can see, all of these thoughts came rushing in. So, I did what any normal person would do...carried on a conversation with a 5 month old! Hey, he needed to hear something! We even danced to Christmas music! ha!
Oh my, I know that I looked ridiculous. But it just made me think. My husband and I are having a baby! A child! Someone who will need to be raised with good morals and manners and you name it. Talk about reality. Not that I didn't already know this. But, now it is really happening! I know I am not the only new mom to be out there who has had these freak out moments! I guess it's just part of the process.
There will definitely be many prayers said, cried and repeated. With all of this, I am so thankful to be able to experience such a blessing. I know that God will show me the way. I am sure that I will make some mistakes, but one thing is for sure, this kid will be loved to the extent that I didn't even know was possible. :)
If you actually read this..bless you. :)